Moe Berg

I recently finished reading a most excellent book called The Catcher was a Spy by Nicholas Dawidoff.  The book basically jumped off the shelf at me when I was at the bookstore one day.  I was looking for something to read (for some reason it was at a time when I didn’t have a huge list of books), and as I was perusing the shelves this book captured my attention.  As a fan of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, I was initially intruiged by the play off of the title.  Then I began to think about what the title meant, and was even more intruiged.  In the end my curiosity got the better of me and I bought the book.

It took me a while to get through it due to the fact that the term started when I was about halfway through.  However, I gradually plowed through, reading a little here and a little there, and in the end finished.  The book is very well written, and is a fascinating study on the life of a very unique man.  In short, Moe Berg was a Princeton and Colombia Law graduate who spoke a slew of different languages, and, right out of university, began playing professional baseball.  Despite his intense thirst for knowledge, he opted to play baseball for a good portion of his life.  During WWII the United States formed the OSS, the precursor organization to the CIA, and Moe Berg decided to change professions.  After a very successful few years as a spy gathering intelligence about nuclear physics, the war ended and Berg spent the rest of his life as a vagabond, never holding a job again and living off of friends and family members.

I was perplexed about this man’s choice for the latter part of his life.  He certainly did not lack the ability to become very successful in just about whatever field he chose.  Yet he decided to choose nothing instead.  It was almost frustrating to me to read account after account of how Berg would pass up incredible opportunities or intentionally neglect aspects of life that would have ensured success.  At one point, the author makes an interesting point.  He mentions (and I paraphrase) that though Berg was very impressive to others, to himself he was not impressive.  This feeling alone became a limiting factor.  I felt a blow of resonance as I read this.  I can attest that I’ve felt a similar feeling, and it has been a limiting factor.  There have been a few times when, in hindsight, I’ve wondered what opportunities I’ve passed up due to the fact that I doubted myself.  For Berg, the opinions of countless people did not help the fact that he did not believe himself to be impressive.

It’s almost a pity that Berg did not have a bigger impact on the world because for such a man it would have been possible.  Yet at the same time, his life provides hope to others.  After reading this book I began to seriously reflect, and I realised that I don’t want to miss any opportunities because I doubt in myself.  I am sure it is perfectly normal for people to feel unimpressive; after all, they live with themselves every day.  However, others certainly hold a different view.  Now, this is not an argument to support conceitedness or pride.  But it is an argument for belief in oneself.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Christ sees us as how we can become.  So, how does one gain access to such a view?  Often times I think it takes more than simply expanding our own view, as that is often too limited.  I sincerely feel that Christ has a view of our potential that is even greater than that which we can imagine.  There have been a few times of my life when I have realised that this is the case.  For example, when I was in Thailand as a missionary for the LDS church, I realised that I had grown spiritually and emotionally more in the space of two years than I had in the space of ten years.  I went into the mission with an idea of who I wanted to become.  After finishing those two years I realised that, because of the power of God, I had surpassed that.  I had become better than my expectations.

I don’t mean boast.  I hope it doesn’t come off that way, because the truth is I had very little to do with it.  I give all the credit to God.  It was He who made it possible for me to develop.  The truth is I was able to witness the change in myself, and I was amazed by it.  All I did was rely on Him and strive to do His will.  In John chapter 7, verse 17, Jesus tells the Jews, “If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”  As one comes to “know of the doctrine,” it begins to take root in one’s heart.  As I dedicated myself to serving Christ in His way, I felt that I came to know of the doctrine.  And, because of that, my heart began to be changed.  I wanted to follow Christ, not because my parents had or because my friends were.  I wanted to follow Christ because I knew that through Him I can gain exaltation.  Through Him I can be truly happy.  As I spent my time in His service, He amplified my abilities.  I gained new understanding and maturity (the latter my friends and family will quickly confirm).  I began to see the power that He has in helping us to attain our potential.  Indeed, I came to realize that I don’t have the slightest idea of what I can become.  God, however, does, and one of the reasons He sent His son was in order to make it possible for everyone to accomplish it.

So, though there are times when self doubt becomes a significant limiting factor, it does not have to be permanent.  God knows who we are.  When we put our trust in Him, we do not have to worry about what others think of us or how we measure up.  As we exercise faith in Him, He will shape us and perfect us, and we will become more than we could possibly imagine.

Mud Slinging

Around this time of year I am amazed at how inhumane people can be.  Espescially in a political sense.  Part of the reason that I don’t have a huge desire to go into politics is because of all the unkind, slanderous, and downright mean comments that get thrown back and forth between candidates and between supporters of those candidates.  I am amazed at the flood of emails that I receive, not advocating their own candidate, but trying to make the other candidate look unintelligent, incapable, or a sporting a quiver of other unforgiveable weaknesses.  And this flies both ways.  In the political world, this is often referred to as “mud slinging.”  And it’s a fitting way to describe it, too.  In my opinion, however, the act of mud slinging is only self-destructive.  It makes the one who slings the mud dirtier than the one getting hit by it.  After all, in order to sling mud one must be willing to get mud all over their hands.  I don’t agree with this policy of trying to tear down the crediblility of another candidate.  In fact, I hold those candidates who refuse to participate in this act of verbal warfare in high esteem.

This then brings up an interesting challenge: one must sift through the grime in order to find that which is desired.  I feel it is unethical to decide to vote on a candidate based on the other candidate’s antagonistic approach.  One must dig through the pollutants in order to get to the pure heart of the issues.  This is a common practice found throughout the world, in areas other than politics as well.  People are able to distill pure water from contaminated sources all the time.  This, of course, requires work, but in the end the result is more favorable than the sacrifice.

Politics is an interesting field, in that it tends to bring out both the best and the worst of human relations.  Clashing opinions can lead to either progress or stagnancy.  This is a pattern not only found in the chambers of congress, but also in one’s own self.  Every person has both moments of brilliance and moments of dishonor in their life.  Indeed, life is a time to learn from ones mistakes and move forward, constantly adapting and progressing towards perfection.  And we have Christ, who makes it possible.  One of the most incredible aspects of Christ’s power is that He can see through the filth that bears us down.  While we are still responsible for that uncleanliness, He provides a way by which we are able to remove the spots and become clean.  He sees what we can be, where we may only see what we are.  That is how He saw those he healed physically.  In Matthew, chapter 8, Christ not only touches a leper (one who was an embodiment of uncleanliness to the Jews), but doesn’t hesitate when the man comes to Him seeking to be healed.  The leper’s faith made it possible for him to be healed by Christ; that’s what Christ saw when approached by him.  Where others would avoid and shun the leper, Christ saw who he really was and knew what he could be.  This is how we all stand in His sight.  He knows us.  He knows our potential.  He invites all to partake of His atonement so that we, too, may see ourselves as He sees us.  Through Him, all may be cleansed of the grime that may even have come to define one’s life.  That is the greatest miracle performed by Christ, and one that He performs in our times as well as in ancient times: the miracle of spiritual healing.

Back Roads

A few weekends ago I went to climb a mountain and experienced what could be termed bipolarity.  I’ve previously attempted to summit this peak twice, yet wasn’t able to make it either time.  I figured that because I didn’t have much time left before it would be completely snowed over, I better get to it.  So, Saturday, 18 October, I decided to take it on.  I was actually planning to do some moderate hiking (nothing too intensive) but the prospect of climbing a mountain hit me as I was driving and I changed my plans.  Climbing mountains, to me, is the pinnacle of hiking.  I turned onto the back road that lead to the base of the mountain I was after, and began the 45-minute trek.  The road hasn’t been maintained, so there are some pretty hairy moments, but my car was able to handle it alright.  I did get some odd looks from people in trucks that were twice the size of my compact, four-wheel-drive sedan.  However, I made it without any trouble.  I was able to climb, summit, revel in the snow at the summit, and descend without any trouble at all.  I was elevated, both physically and emotionally, and I am now planning ways I can make it back there with my skis.

At the top I looked at the road on which I had driven up.  The road starts from where I turned on and weaves its way through the mountains, heading south, until it exits at a canyon about fifteen minutes south of my home.  The road on which I had driven up was replete with switch-backs.  Having driven it, I knew that it was also in bad condition.  The road heading south was straight and didn’t look nearly as chopped up as the road to the north.  I decided to check it out.  I have ridden my mountain bike the entire length of the road, and from what I remembered it wasn’t that far away.  I actually thought I was at the halfway point.  So, I started driving south.  The road, though straight, was in terrible condition.  It, of course, had received the same lack of maintenance as the stretch to the North.  Furthermore, by the time I realised that it was also about three times as long as the northern portion, I was already closer to that end.  As I drove on, conditions didn’t improve.  At first it was exciting, but after hitting rock field after rock field I was worn out.  Continued poor roads began to help me understand Dante’s Inferno on a new level.  By the time I had made it out, I had made the resolve never to drive on that road ever again.  Actually, to tell the truth, I had made that resolve several times.

As I was speeding back on the pavement (which, I realized, I take for granted far too often), I had time to think about the whole experience.  Climbing the mountain hadbeen an incredible experience for me.  Driving back had been the exact opposite.  It made me think about that which I have been studying in the Book of Matthew in the New Testament.  So many times the Savior must have experienced similar feelings.  For example, on the Mount of Transfiguration (chapter 17), Christ was able to converse with Moses and Elijah, both of whom knew who He was and what His mission was.  They had prophesied of Him, they had complete faith in Him, and they understood what His role as messiah meant.  Furthermore, the voice of God the Father was heard announcing the authority of His son.  James E. Talmage, a modern apostle of Jesus Christ who was called and given authority just as in ancient times, points out in his book Jesus The Christ that coming down off the mountain must have been like day and night.  After the incredible events that occured on the mount, Jesus was greeted with the inability of His disciples to cast out a devil due to their unbeleif.  From circumstances where truth and light were encompassing to circumstances where faith was weak and understanding imperfect must have been rather difficult for Jesus.  I’m sure He felt rather worn out after that, and after hundreds of other contrasting experiences.  Yet He was willing to take them on because of His love.  He was willing to experience the pains–physical, emotional, and spiritual–of mortality in order that He might know how to comfort us.  Alma, in the Book of Mormon, expains this in Alma chapter 7, verses 11-13.  He was ever patient.  He was ever willing to sacrifice that others might understand.  He never complained or questioned the will of His Father.

So, as I was driving home I saw great room for improvement in myself.  I realized I could have handled that better.  It is most certainly a gradual process, and I don’t think I will drive that road unless it is absolutely necessary, but I do have an idea of how I can become more like the Savior.  Christ set the example of how to handle adversary in general, both on a long-term and a day-to-day basis.  One of my endeavors is to therefore emulate His patience and His hope.  He has set the way, and through Him it is possible to face trials with optimism.